Bardot. Beirut. and the Beach

Beach Trip

By Heather Pharis

I went to the beach. Just got back. 

Did not take pictures because I felt fat

I listened to the ocean while laying in the sand

I checked out all the fat women trying to get tan

My iPod was permanently placed on Shuffle

All the ice cream was eaten... and even the truffles?

My bikini was lost, so I used a one piece

I read Game of Thrones..book number three

Beirut on the beach is really great

I saw several old couples out on a date

The water returned back out to sea

as I returned home,back from the beach

Just thought I should tell you about the weekend. Now I shall tease you with the image of almost seeing my bare breast. What I'm really showing you, was where I accidentally forgot to put sunscreen on. See the handprint? Thats where I had one hand resting on my chest, while the other hand was holding Storm of Swords. It doesn't hurt. Its just hilarious to me.

The original cat woman

Okay so Catwoman. There is a fascination with her. Mostly because she is extremely sexy. It goes back to that whole femme Fatale genre everyone loves. She is mysterious,deadly, and effortlessly cool. It is probably because she is a kitty. Catwoman in general is a cool cat! (could not help it)

Michelle Pfeiffer. I can not tell you how sexually confused I was after I saw her in the Cat suit. 

The original inspiration was this little lady down here:

JEAN MOTHERLOVING HARLOWE. 

The sex symbol of the 1930's. 

So instead of going to see the Dark Knight Rises in costume....Im going in a Jean Harlow inspired makeup and hair. 

Pictures of this will be up later...

False Alarm!

I found both pairs! They were hiding under my bed!

I'm drunk and you're probably on pills

You know how my room was a mess? I cleaned it up! Yes it was awesome. I'm also packed up for college now. Odd to think that I'll be moving out of the house.

FREEEEDOM!

Yup

I decided I should let you know what has been going on in my mind today:

• I can not find any of my glasses!  my spiffy prescription sunglasses and my regular prescription glasses are MIA!
• I decided I could not be a boy because I could not emotionally handle random erections. 
• I need to wear more Hats.  End of story.
• I'm excited about going down to the beach this weekend. It will be fun. Must shave and get somewhat in better shape in like 3 hours.
• Where the hell are my glasses?

All about Whiskers!

I have a cuddly little companion named Whiskers. She is the cutest little tabby that ever walked this earth!

Yes she does look quite ordinary. However! She is the most unusual cat that I have ever met. She is a cuddle cat. She never is grumpy, but she does enjoy solitude at times. Her only fault is that she talks a whole lot. She NEVER shuts up! I love her though.

We rescued her as a kitten. She randomly showed up on the back porch. She was only a small kitten and had a nasty respiratory infection. This infection had caused her eyes to be closed shut with pus. She was tiny,starving,blind, and completely helpless.

I almost named her Helen

So we took her in! Now she is the terrific tabby that we all know and love! The lesson here is to save the animals and all that jazz. You may find something as awesome as my cat.....although I doubt anything is as cool as whiskers. She is the Cat's meow.

All that I've touched that has ever touched me

My favorite love song of all time has to be "if you loved me you'd destroy me" by aerogramme and hal duncan. It takes me to a place where I am fearlessly loving someone and being loved scars and all. The lyrics are fantastic, the singer sincere, and the overall ambience leaves you gasping for air.
I wish I was talented enough dancer to choreograph to the song, but the feeling can not be expressed through my measly little body. I just can not produce that amount of beauty.

I'm sad that there isn't an official music video..maybe I should make/direct one :) heck yes!

Sweet Disposition

Got a new do. well more like a re-do. I've been needing a change, so I added some 60's fringe. It makes me feel like a mod barbie doll. Here it be

Just wanted you to see my wicked makeup. I put on orange eyeshadow, brown liquid eyeliner, and black blackity black mascara heavily on both types of lashes.

How to become a Hoarder for Dummies

I have been needing to clean my room something terrible. With all my outings and such I haven't had time to clean Fuck that shit. no excuses can explain this motherfucking shit. Its a war zone in here.

Lesson 1, have a weird ass shrine to your accomplishments and random knick-knacks

Eugene the Unicorn who's horn was torn off, its a symbol man!

My collection of books and my sex bra... It just shows up everywhere

Needless to say, I need to do laundry... and take out the trash

more laundry

a sack of laundry

shoes. and my favorite cowboy boots... i wrote a song about them

my hair supplies...yes I'm serious about my hair

I HOARD FUCKING FEMININE SUPPLIES!!!!! What is wrong with me? I only have periods once a month....and I have 5 years supply

makeup and more hair thingies

Magazines and pictures i like

Magic the Gathering. Its my shit.

You're coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand

I could watch the cruise pretty much everyday. It inspires me and moves me and reminds me of old lovers.  The Cruise is my favorite documentary that I have seen, Speed Levitch is a role model for me. Watch this clip. It will move you.
and if you want something else that will move different parts of you....

The First Days of Spring

My favorite Noah and the Whale song ever! So Its been awhile since I did a makeup post, so here is my interpretation of Joan from Mad Men!

A soft black cat eye, lots of mascara on top lashes only. pink blush on apples of the cheeks and finally a deep pinkish red lip stain. I FEEL SO NAKED WITHOUT THE GLASSES!

Here is my beautiful Muse!!! GAWWW Christina Hendricks, you make me sick!

I think I'm just obsessed with Gingers at the moment. My favorite of course is Christina Hendricks but I also have been really loving Karen Elson and Florence Welch. I've just been really loving them lately.

Karen Elson

Florence Welch

And by loving I mean, collecting pictures to put up in my dorm room.